Friends. Lovers. Strangers.

Dear Diary,

All I did was ask him how he was doing.

All he had to do was answer the question.

That's it! Just answer the question!

But nooo, he does what he always does. He turned the question back on me. That’s when I went silent.

I didn’t plan to shut down. But lately, everything he does gets under my skin.

It wasn’t always like this. We used to laugh. We used to have fun. We used to love slow dances in the rain, candlelit picnics, holding hands and stolen kisses by the fireplace.

We had day dates. Topgolf. The arcade. He always beat me at skee-ball; I always won at Galaga. Afterward, we’d browse our favorite bookstore and end the date eating ice cream - laughing and joking as we people-watched. Now, the memories feel like they belong to someone else.

We were in sync back then. We knew what the other was thinking. We finished each other’s sentences.

But lately, things between us feel off. Everything feels…forced. Somewhere along the way, being us started to feel like work. Conversations turned into arguments. Arguments turned into exhaustion. And exhaustion turned into silence.

I wish I could tell you when the shift happened—when loving him stopped feeling natural and started feeling heavy—but I can’t.

When I asked how he was doing, I meant it.  Things may be strained between us but I do care about his well being.

Friends.

Lovers.

Strangers.

I don’t know which one we are anymore.

~ Lizzie ~