Learning with Lucas: Part 3 of 4

Dear Diary,

The next two years were tense.

Luke and I only had two ways of communicating—walking around in silence or screaming at one another until we were hoarse. 

During those two years, Luke refused everything.

He refused to visit the school.

He refused to meet the teachers.

When therapists came to the house, he would leave.

For two years, he refused to accept that his son had autism.

For two years, he made no attempt to enter into Lucas’s world—to see the universe through his eyes.

Luke was determined to prove that there was nothing wrong with his son.

He signed Lucas up for little league baseball but Lucas couldn’t stay focus on the game. He preferred to stay in the dugout—making sure the bats and helmets were lined up perfectly.

He took Lucas fishing but Lucas fascinated by the insects flying overhead—wanting to know their names, where they came from, where they were going.

The final straw came at a St. Louis Cardinals game.

I told Luke to bring the noise cancelling headphones but he ignored me as usual.

As Lucas walked through the crowd, the sounds hit him all at once—the people, the music, the vendors shouting. It was too much.

Every time he covered his ears to drown out the noise, Luke would swat his hands away and tell him to stop.

But it was the first roar of the crowd that sent Lucas into a total meltdown.

He began to hit Luke…crying…screaming…throwing our concessions.

People were staring.

Everything around us felt loud and chaotic, but all I could see…was my son overwhelmed and scared.

I pulled Lucas into my arms, and we retreated to the car.

Luke didn’t come.

Not until after the game.

The ride home was quiet…too quiet

Luke decided he had enough.

Later that night, he packed his bags...and left.

~ Mallory ~