Learning Lucas: Part 2 of 4

Dear Diary,

Lucas was a beautiful little boy. He had my bubbly personality and Luke’s smile. He was always happy, always smiling, always laughing and always getting into things.

 By the time he was three…something changed.

The sparkle in his eyes began to fade.He didn’t talk as much.He stopped laughing.He stopped making eye contact.

He retreated into his own little world and didn’t invite us in.

Life as we knew it with Lucas came to a halt. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that something was wrong with our sweet boy.

I started searching the internet, typing in every symptom Lucas displayed.

Everything pointed to one word:

Autism.

Luke said I was being overdramatic.

“There’s nothing wrong with my son,” he said. “My son is not a freak.”

I decided to make an appointment with Lucas’s pediatrician, Dr. Bly…just to make sure.

I described to him what Lucas was and wasn’t doing.

Dr. Bly examined him and agreed with Luke. He said that Lucas would outgrow this phase in his life.

 I didn’t agree with Dr. Bly nor with Luke —so I made another appointment with a different pediatrician in another part of town… Dr. Ross.

She listened to me.She didn’t dismiss me.

She watched.

She didn’t examine Lucas with medical equipment. She paid attention to how Lucas responded to different things. The toys didn’t interest him much—but he was fascinated with lining up tongue depressors, one by one, perfectly in place. He made brief eye contact, but when she tried to hold his hand, he quickly pulled away.

After 10 minutes of social play, she looked at me and said,

 “Mrs. Speaks, I believe you’re right. Lucas appears to have autism. I’m going to refer you to a pediatric neurologist, Dr. Nique.  He’ll do more testing, nothing that will harm Lucas, and he will be able to tell you for sure if Lucas is on the spectrum or not.”

I burst into tears and hugged her as tight as I could.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” was all I could say.

Finally…someone was listening to me.

“No, thank you for advocating for your child, for following your gut, and for seeking another opinion. So much can be done for children with autism when they’re diagnosed early. There are programs and services that can help him learn how to navigate this world and live a full, productive life.”

I thanked her again and immediately made an appointment with the Dr. Nique.

I decided not to tell Luke until after I met with the doctor.

Dr. Nique was a kind older gentleman and just like Dr. Ross, he listened. He observed Lucas during play and social interaction. He sat on the floor next to Lucas offering him different objects while casually engaging him in conversation, all while asking me questions.

He looked at me.

“Mrs. Speaks, Lucas is on the spectrum. And hear me when I say this—it is not the end of the world. We can enroll him in an early childhood program that will support his motor, social, adaptive and speech development. Based on what you have shared with me, I don’t see any need for medication at this time. But if anything changes, please do not hesitate to call me or Dr. Ross.”

 “Thank you, Dr. Nique.”

 I got home, I told Luke everything.

About Dr. Ross.About Dr. Nique.About the diagnosis.About the program.

Then I asked him what day and time would work best for him to come with me—to visit the facility and meet the teachers.

I wasn’t prepared for his response.

“You had no right to go behind my back and take my son to other doctors—doctors who don’t know him at all! His pediatrician is Dr. Bly—the one who has known him since he was born—the one told us that this is just a phase! He will outgrow this! Those other doctors are wrong!”

“Luke, I know you don’t want to hear it but Lucas has autism. It’s not the end of the world. There are programs that can…”

“Damn it, Mallory!” he snapped. “There is nothing wrong with my son! He does not have autism! He is not slow! He is not a freak! He is not weird! He is a normal boy! And he will do normal things that normal boys do! You will not be placing my boy in any special programs!  And that’s that! End of discussion!”

Luke didn’t wait for my response.

He just stormed off.

But one thing he would soon find out, this was not the end of the discussion for me.

I was determined to get my son the help he needed.

I wanted Luke by my side in all of this. But if I had to do it alone…

I would.

~ Mallory ~